homecoming 2013…

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let me just say this, I would NEVER want to be a 14 year old girl in the year 2013. I know this is going to make me sound old but I don’t remember having the intense pressure that mikayla does to be the pretty girl or the athlete or the smart girl or the rebel or whatever. it just seems that the world expects these girls to grow up so quickly, to discover who they are so early in life. the sexuality is everywhere, the music, the clothes that are on the racks for her to buy… whatever happened to just being a girl before having the pressure to become a woman so young in life. mik & I were laughing at the dress choices she had for homecoming, tiny, skimpy, tight dresses that she would never be allowed to leave the house in & it was a challenge to find that perfect dress that she was comfortable in & I was comfortable buying. we found it… she was stunning. she is stunning. but she is still a young girl & I don’t feel bad about trying to protect that.

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mikayla is the sweetest, funniest, silliest 14 year old girl & I treasure that. I love seeing her with her friends, I love that she has these bonds, I love that she has friends that have the same values as her…

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this is mikayla’s friend Emily, she lost her mother 3 years ago to cancer & moved up to Omaha from somewhere in the south 2 years ago with her dad. she & mik were fast friends & tight all thru junior high & I am so happy to see that high school hasn’t changed that. she is such a happy, intelligent & sweet sweet girl. I have only talked to her once about her losing her mom & it was quick, I just wanted her to know that I knew & I was sorry. but this night she looked so beautiful & so happy & I know I am overly emotional but she brought tears to my eyes & I grabbed her & I told her how proud her mother would be & how proud I was of her & she hugged me back. this girl is special.

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before we had left the house Alex, Kera, Doris & my mom came over to get some pics of the girls together…

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I will never forget that first night that Mikayla arrived in Omaha. Dale had just flown his plane down to get her after hurricane Katrina & it wasn’t until we met them at the diner in Millard that I understood what had just happened. I will never forget the look on Mikayla’s face, she was so quiet, she must have been so freaked out & so scared. one day she was living with her mom in La. & now she was here in Omaha living with her dad & his girlfriend Gina. she had her dad, she had her meme & papa she had her aunt molly & she had me but when I look back on it, I cant even imagine being 6 years old & going thru that. I remember the first night, taking her home to the duplex we lived in in Dundee & now she was sharing a room with Jarred who was 9. it was a change for everyone, it was huge & life altering & we did it. I know that I came on too strong those first years. I felt an extremely strong purpose with her. I remember that first week, watching her, getting her into school & she seemed very happy but very shy, very scared. her mom didn’t call, not once. I remember knowing that I had a purpose, I looked at this little girl & I thought of her as a woman that may be married someday & a woman that may have children one day & I knew that I could not let her think that mom’s ship their kids away when bad things happen around them. I felt so strongly that she needed to see that mom’s hold their kids tighter when bad things happen, they keep their kids closer, they nurture that much more. I needed mikayla to know what that felt like for her future as a wife & mother. I am not thinking highly of myself, I just remember feeling very strongly that that is why she was with shane & I.

Mikayla was very upset with me a few weeks ago because I had gotten so upset with her for losing her shoes that she had to have to march in the band. it was the morning of her state tournament & I just couldn’t believe that she had lost something so important & of course I let her know how upset I was. she broke down, she started crying, she told me she was doing the best she could & I felt horrible. I walked away, collected my thoughts & walked back later & apologized. we both cried & hugged & I told her I cant imagine my life without her & that I know that she was “given to me” for a reason. it is true, I know that she has a mom in La. but in my heart I know that she & I were supposed to be together, she teaches me something about myself about life about love about respect about selflessness about gratitude every day.

I love you to the moon & back Mikayla.

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