we have our little Fred strung with lights, we have our stockings hanging, we have our ornaments scattered throughout the house & we made our advent calendar.

I am trying to embrace this season of Christmas. I am trying to bring the magic that i remember Christmas to be for my kids.

I am trying…

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once again, the month is flying bye & I look up & it is almost Christmas. I feel like the past few days I have gotten into the “Christmas spirit” a little bit more. that feels good.

Christmas is different now & there is no way around that. but when I look back on our December so far, I see that I am doing more than I realize to make this time special for our kids.

I think with loss comes all of those emotions of treasuring your memories of special family moments that much more. I know that I can not get so caught up in my head & my emotions that I miss out on creating those memories for our little family, like my parents did for us.

sitting, talking with my mom this morning after I got off work helped. I felt not so alone. I know that sounds horrible but sometimes you can be surrounded by people, people that love you & get you & people that you love with your entire self.

but sometimes, you just need to connect with your mom. no matter how old you are.

our December so far…

watching the Grinch with daddy & realizing that Dr. Suess pretty much had it all figured out…

“it came without ribbons. it came without tags. it came without packages, boxes or bags. then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before. Maybe Christmas doesn’t come from a store. Maybe Christmas… he thought… means a little bit more…

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Shane, Sophia & I went out for coffee & hot chocolate & a little drive to see Christmas lights. Sophia loooooves it & when we got to a house with a big inflatable santa out front she wanted to go hug him. we didn’t let her but I think I may just take her back, get her out of the car & let her go hug that huge santa!!

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the next morning we had eggs in a frame, Christmas edition…


we got to see Mikayla perform in her winter concert. honestly, they are powerful & amazing & I am so so so proud of her…

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Sophia & I had fun making this little advent calendar. as you can see, some of the days have been raided. ha. time to refill the pockets…


Sophia asked Mikayla if they could switch stockings this year. I knew there was a reason I haven’t put everyone’s names on their stockings yet. ha…

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a little Christmas painting…

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we have had some unseasonably warmer weather this year & I am thankful that I can get Sophia out to the park to run around & get out of the house for awhile…

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this December we are also learning our new normal with me back at work. it is working, I have settled into the new schedule & im pretty sure it has been good for both Sophia & I for me to get out of the house for a bit. the hardest part is when she goes to bed at night she asks me if I have to leave in the morning, if I say yes she says “don’t go mommy” in her sweetest little voice. oh my word.


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I can not resist her in the window…


Sophia calling her meme & papa…

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when jarred & Mikayla were younger, up until about 3 years ago, we would spend a day baking & decorating Christmas cookies. i remember those days so vividly. i am so grateful for those memories & i am even more grateful that they have those memories. last night the girls & i made up some dough & baked some ornaments to decorate & hang on Fred. of course, we had to make some actual sugar cookies too because i knew Sophia would not handle very well that the ones we were making for fred didn’t taste good at all, they are just flour & salt & water. bonus… everyone was home for dinner too.

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yep, someone is excited for Christmas…

(and ice cream)

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happy December…



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