new year…

new year. new day. new beginnings. time just keeps moving…

I have chosen ’embrace’ to be my one little word for 2015.

I have been thinking about what my new word would be for the past few weeks & I just kept coming back to the fact that life doesn’t always look like the way we thought it would. sometimes life can be messy & sometimes things are all wrapped up neatly for you, I find that most of the times, it is messy. not like literally a mess. just, the chaos of everyday life, the unsure feeling about the future & even some things in the past that I am still trying to figure out. some things will never be figured out. that is the feeling of ‘messy’ to me. that chaos, is probably more how I perceive things that I can not control. to others, that same moment may seem completely calm to them. anyway, I kept coming back to the word ‘messy’ I kept telling myself “I need to embrace the messy side to life”  but something was missing.

this morning I realized my word was supposed to be embrace. not only do I need to embrace the messy, loud, unsure, chaotic, scary parts of life. I also need to embrace the quiet, peaceful, thought out, divine parts of life.

I need to embrace both sides. I need to smush them together to make it all make sense.

I need to enjoy this time of life that we are in right now, with all of it’s messes & all of it’s happiness because these days are only these days for today.

I need to embrace the changing landscape of our family. & myself. & my children. & my marriage. & my faith. & my everything.

embrace today.

I don’t want to wake up tomorrow & wish I could have today back. I want to squeeze today for all its juice. drink it up. wake up tomorrow & do the same.

 

in honor of embracing, Mikayla & I embraced the slick floors at target today & slid down every aisle we could, setting up the camera along the way of course. I love her. I love that we can laugh together. I love that I am learning more about who she is. who she wants to be. how she sees the world. I love being the mom of a teenage daughter, there is something so very special about that relationship…

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last night was our annual new years eve crab feast. it was our first year where jarred wasn’t here. we had a great time, we laughed & ate too much but of course for me, it wasn’t the same. I missed him. I missed the stupid crab jokes he & shane tell every year, I missed how every year they both talk to their crab before they eat it. (hilarious stuff!!)

but, I have to embrace this change in our family.

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and this is probably the best way I have to describe what I mean by embracing the chaos…

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happy new year everyone!!!

 

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