learning…

just a short little video that says so much to me.

I am trying to teach myself video editing. it is all new to me & obviously I am just beginning but these videos say so much to me.

I see all of the emotions, strung together. i see laughter & innocence & beauty & wide eyed truth.

i see life & how we all grow up & it is up to us what we do with it.

i feel that gut wrenching longing to keep her little just like i felt (& feel) with jarred & Mikayla. it is funny, i wish i could go back to my 21 year old mom self & tell her to just take notice.

take notice of the way their hair blows in the wind. of their mouth when they sleep. of their laughter. of their tears. of their after bath smell.

i wish i could tell my younger mom self to not be worried about that next stage & just enjoy the one we are in now.

i think i did that to a certain degree. but i also don’t think that i was settled enough as my own person to truly just BE in the moment & time.

so, i try to do that better now. with all three.

i suppose capturing them is just my way of expressing my love & my longing to keep them safe & warm & loved…

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