here we are, already at the end of august. summer is such a fleeting, fast season. Jarred is living on his own, out of our house. Mikayla is back at school for her senior year. Sophia was the age to begin kindergarten this year but we decided to wait one more year & in the meantime I am home schooling her. so far, it is fulfilling, frustrating, terrifying, rewarding, hysterical, all of the above.
I don’t have any idea what I am doing, but I am doing it anyway. reminds me of life really.
these times, with my girl. they are my heart. I look at this little being in front of me. looking to us to show her what the world is all about. I remember little jarred looking at me the same way & later Mikayla too.
there are so many seasons in life. as this season of summer ends & we head into fall & because I seem to always be over sentimental & overly “in my head” about every little thing, I cant help but feel emotional.
I have made so many mistakes. as a human, a mother, a sister, a wife, a daughter. but, I also know that I have always done the best that I could at the time.
I just want peace. in my heart. in my mind. in my kids’ lives. in their hearts. even when they are not with us, I hope they truly know & find peace in where they come from. that they are loved & supported, even thru the struggles. it is so hard to not be consumed by the negative & sadness.
I feel like all I want to hold onto is hope.
I feel like sometimes I am distracted & I don’t want to be. I want to be present for all of these firsts with Sophia & these lasts with Mikayla.
this sweet little girl gives me hope. hope that I can be better.
so, I am embracing this season in our lives. we will all be ok. we will make it. we will have bad days & great days & everything in between & I know that they all come together to create our history.
and really, there are no other people on the planet that I would want to be creating this history with…