missing moments. march thru may 2016

little bits & huge moments in our lives. sometimes I want to write it all down, other times all I can do is just try to keep up with life. looking back now, there are so many little & big moments missing from this blog, from the record of our daily lives. this space, it holds everything I hold close in my heart & when I look back I hate to see the missing pieces. so, here they are…

March 8. meeting my mom & brother, Rocky at starbucks to have a little birthday celebration.

an early March, still kind of cool walk thru Chalco lake with my super girls…

the evening of March 9th…

this day Jarred & I had gone to the hospital to say good bye to my Grandpa Gomez. I didn’t want to go, I didn’t want to see him laying in that hospital bed, but my dad called me & asked me to come see him. I am so very thankful to my dad for that phone call. it meant so much to me to be able to say good bye. our family has been hurt so badly by sudden, unexpected death & to me, to be able to see my grandpa live out a long, amazing, full, inspired life & get the chance to tell him one more time how much I love him, that was special. my grandma was there of course, sitting in a room, waiting for the procedure to begin that would end my grandpa’s pain. she was of course heartbroken but jarred & I sat with her for quite awhile & just talked. she seemed very much in charge. she wanted to know exactly what was happening & when. my dad & uncles kept coming in giving her updates, juice, water, hugs & a few jokes. this woman in incredible. I asked her if she wanted to maybe leave to get some rest. I will never forget it, she looked at me & said “NO. I had the first dance, I will have the last”

I will never forget those words. ever…

March 14. the day of my grandpa’s funeral. it was beautiful & heart breaking & this man has left a legacy & a life story that most people cant even imagine. we love you grandpa…

March 16, 2016. a little girls trip to Lincoln to the natural history museum. Sophia has been infatuated with dinosaurs for awhile now so we thought it would be cool for her to go see some real dinosaur bones. her reaction did not dissapoint. love this girl & love her love for life & learning & our little adventures…

just reading books with her most favoritest, bestest big sister ever…

march 26, easter… first of all I cant believe that easter is getting put into a post about moments I didn’t put here on the blog because, easter is my favorite. always has been & now as an adult passing those traditions is so important to me. the promise of a new beginning, a resurrection, a blooming of spring, new life. I love it all.  our night that we dye our easter eggs is always easter eve & after the ‘easter bunny’ hides them throughout the house. it has been that way since I was a little girl, as long as I can remember & I love that now my kids can say the same. it is a little weird though, this year it was just shane, Sophia & I, Mikayla had to work & jarred did too probably but he had moved out in January of 2016, so his easter eve dying eggs are probably over until he is married with kids of his own…

easter morning, all of our baskets & our easter egg hunt in the house. this year we only left one un-found egg out in the house for about a week. ha.

the easter bunny was at church…

off to grammy mary & artie’s for easter dinner. these photos to me are proof that the photos before the photos are usually the best. I love that thru it all our family has found a way to keep our ties strong. to be there for eachother no matter how our family has changed. love them to pieces. they make me feel lucky.

an unseasonably warm, end of march day spent at the park with my girl & lexi, our little neighbor girl that Sophia loves so so much…

end of march. riding bikes with daddy up & down our street, over & over & over & over. she was in heaven…

April, rainy day shenanigans. basketball in the house & charging me 20 cents to get into my own living room…

I have to write this down. it may seem like nothing but it really is everything. this girl of mine, she lays out her clothes just like this every night. she calls it getting her morning clothes ready. love her sweet little actions & the things she thinks of & yes, I walked into her room this evening & found her clothes just like this. laid out so perfectly. love her…

Sophia started dance in April!! she loves it. this girl feels the music & I love the watch her dance. at home & in class…

after her first dance class we went to the dance store to get the leotard & skirt she needed & to get her fitted for shoes & my mama heart almost exploded. she has been on break from dance for the summer but she starts back September 7th. & I am so excited!!

some day in april, mini golfing with my girls. let’s just say, we will not be going mini golf professional any time soon & oh my word!!! this just might be the most competitive bunch of putt putters I have ever played with. hahaha.

my favorite part. Sophia pouting because she wasn’t winning & alex & Sophia searching in the bushes for alex’s ball. haha. cuties…

Sophia’s next dance class. she got all of her gear & even better, her cousin Nova started classes with her!!! little sweeties…

May, 11. just walking in the field up from the house in her new sparkly birthday dress that her meme & papa got her. it is now August, 3 months later & she wears this dress still every chance she gets…

the day after her 5th birthday getting her 5 year physical. healthy!!

just a day in may, playing in the shadows in the hallway & our favorite these days, playing cards…

May 21. one of my dearest friends Mary & her husband happened to be in town for work. I couldn’t believe it when I found out she was here. we hadn’t seen each other in almost 13 years! I was actually nervous on the drive over to their hotel. but, of course, as soon as I saw her & gave her a hug, it was like we never had been apart. but seriously, how do you really catch up on so much life with someone that you used to see every day? so, so much life had happened to us both. happy & sad & tragic & love & loss & growth & mundane. all of it. but, talking to her reminded me why I love her in the first place. because she is still one of the strongest, thoughtful, fiercely loyal, protective, bad ass women I will ever know. I cant wait to see her again…

later that night was my niece Jenna’s  high school graduation party. her mom is my cousin but I don’t know, I guess I have just always thought of her as my niece.

the next day was my niece Alex’s high school graduation party. honestly, I don’t even have words for that.

May 23. meeting grammy after her last day of preschool at Harvey oaks elementary for some treats & hugs…

swim day with the girls…

May 28th. my beautiful niece graduated high school. this. this was truly an emotional day. because I was just so proud of her but also because I know what a struggle it was for her, to go thru this moment without her daddy sitting there, with us, cheering her on. I know that he is so very proud of this beautiful, beautiful, thoughtful, woman…

 

after the ceremony we gathered at our house for a little cake & homemade ice-cream (thank you grammy!!!) & to watch the video I had made for alex for her graduation.

and of course some sunset pictures up in the field…

so, I cried the whole time I made this video, for obvious reasons. we miss him so much but day by day we relearn that we have to keep going. we have to laugh & we have to keep moving forward. I relearn every day that that does not mean he is forgotten, in any way. it means we are still alive. we are here & we are going to live every second to its fullest. squeeze every last drop out of every moment. tell our loved ones how much we love them every chance we get.

Alex picked the music, she gave me a USB with the pictures she wanted in her video. she even had a file telling me what grouping she wanted the photos in. I love that she cared so much about this video. I love that she will always have it to look back at when she needs to.

I love you so much my sweet niece…

 

we keep moving forward…

so that is the most of it. our lives march to may, 2016.